One year ago today....

this little face took my breath away, stole my heart, and has changed our lives forever!Several years ago, after we had started our family, I had an overwhelming feeling that one day we would adopt a child. I didn't understand why I was having these feelings. We had two children. I had no problems with infertility or delivering healthy babies. I remember telling Michael about the experience that I had and the feelings I had about adopting one day. He didn't really say much, so I didn't bring it up again. We continued with our family, having four biological children. After having our fourth we felt certain we were done, we felt complete. Well, little did we know and much to our surprise .... we were not done!

We have some good friends (The Greens) who adopted a little girl from China. They started their journey for her in '06, while still living here. I loved talking to Christianne about adoption, she had such a passion for it. She would send me emails about little ones who needed homes. And me having a mother's heart, I felt sorry for them, and would have loved to take them all, but just didn't feel like any of them were right for our family.

On September 30, 2007 I was at my computer working on a candle order. I finished the order, but before I left the computer I felt compelled to Google international adoption. This was weird! I had never Googled international adoption in my life! I clicked on one of the sites that came up, then clicked on the waiting child files. That's when I saw him for the first time. A sweet little boy by the name of Jack. He took my breath away. I felt something for this little boy that I can not put into words. I emailed the agency immediately to ask for more information. I couldn't wait to tell Michael. I couldn't wait to show him the picture. Later that afternoon I was saddened to received an email back from the agency saying thank you for your interest in Jack, but there is another family considering him for adoption. I continued to think and wonder about little Jack every day. I couldn't get his little face out of my head. Then, on October 22, 2007 I checked my email. There was an email from the agency stating that Jack was available for adoption. I literally laughed out loud with excitement when I read this.

When Michael woke up that afternoon I told him about the email. WE CAN ADOPT HIM!!! He looked at me like I was crazy at first, then he agreed to pray about him. When the kids got home from school that day I showed them the picture. They all thought he was so cute. Even Mallory (the child that always said she didn't ever want to adopt) said "mom I want him to be in our family."

Over the next few weeks the "roller coaster ride" began. We ALL did alot of praying. With every family or personal prayer the kids said, they always prayed about little Jack. We had some long talks with the kids and mentioned every scenario we could think of. Everyone had to be on board! We explained to Maggie that she would no longer be the baby. She was fine with that, she said she didn't want to be the baby anyway. As I stood back watching my kids while we were making this huge decision that was going to change our family dynamics, it made me love them even more. The charity and love they had in their hearts. They had no reservations, not one. They were unselfishly ready to share their mom & dad, to have a new little brother.

Michael had his reservations. He kept saying, " I thought we were done." (I have to say so did I, but sometimes Heavenly Father lets us know differently. Jeremiah 29:11 kept ringing in my head.) :) I reminded him about the time years earlier when I felt we would adopt. He continued pray for the conformation he needed to know this was right for our family. I stayed quiet, patiently waiting. I didn't have to say anything though, the answers were all around us both. Every time we opened our scriptures something we would read would just pop out at us giving us the answer. One scripture in particular was Matthew 25:40... And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. We heard this scripture six times in two days while we were trying to make our decision. Once we just flipped our scriptures open and there it was. Another time we turned on our TV to the BYU channel to hear President Monson quoting that scripture in a talk. Then we were listening to a CD with children's stories on it. We had no idea what the stories were about, we had never listened to it before. The first story that came on was about a family adopting some children that had lost their parents. At the end of the story Matthew 25:40 was quoted. This went on for a couple of days with that scripture. It seemed every time we would go out we would run into families who have adopted from China. There was no denying the Lords hand in all of this. He was placing this little one upon our hearts. Then one night before leaving for work Michael told me that when he got home the next morning he wanted to call the agency. He said he wanted to tell them YES we want to adopt Jack.

I am not going to say that it wasn't a little scary to make that final call, it was. As we started to dial the number all I could think about was the scripture Isaiah 43:5... Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west. We knew it was right and that scripture was just more reassurance. He was ours, this was our son! Already, I couldn't imagine my life without Max in it. The blessings, the spiritual growth, the peace, and the family unity we have felt this past year is irreplaceable. I am thankful for the direction we have been given. I am thankful that Heavenly Father trust us enough to place adoption upon our hearts. I promise to always try my best to be the mom Max needs. I am thankful my sweet husband was willing to pray and receive the answers he needed. I am thankful for our sweet children, they will be the BEST older brother and sisters in the world.

Over the past year there has been so many people say that Max is one lucky little boy, but we feel WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES!!!

Max, We love you and we'll be there soon!!!